is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
