Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We named our party play list daddy issues
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
