You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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