At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
