She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
