I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
