Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize