Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
