I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
