Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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