After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
