Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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