There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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