It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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