Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
