Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
