May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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