he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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