I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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