All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
