she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
