all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
