fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
