What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize