Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
