Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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