Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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