I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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