my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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