Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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