I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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