it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize