I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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