So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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