i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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