fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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