first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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