is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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