Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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