then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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