She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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