i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
