We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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