Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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