My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i drank out of a bidet.
ttyl tear gas
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
