Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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