I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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