I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
