I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
