You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
