im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
