Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
