just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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