she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
