Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
