yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
