Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize