they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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