I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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