As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
