you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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