I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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