some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
tell me about the fingering
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