Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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