Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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