oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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